Whine and Dine

What number are you?

2007-07-20T11:00:00.000+10:00

I'm 81. No, not 81 years old, or 81 kg (I wish!) - I'm not a value, I'm a number.
What do I mean?
Everything about me tells me that I'm 81.

I'm odd
I'm a square
I'm rational
I consist of a lot of factors
I'm curvy
I'm not perfect (ie. not 100)
in the grand scheme of things, I'm not that big

So, what number are you?

Easter Sunday

2007-04-11T18:54:00.000+10:00

What better way to relax after a 2-hour church service in another language than to help run an Easter egg hunt in a park? The eggs to hide, the kids to yell at for taking eggs before the hunt begins, and not to mention the ominously long grass which is the perfect camouflage for little things like eggs, spiders and snakes.
Believe it or not, I actually did manage to enjoy my Easter Sunday - albeit only after donning a pair of cardboard rabbit ears. But such were the requirements for me to make my transformation into Donny the Evil Bunny of Retribution.
After my stint as chief keeper-outerer of children from the egg-hunting area, I vented my frustration on the same perpetrators who inflicted that frustration. The time for retribution had come.
And what better retribution than to frustrate those who had frustrated me? Each time they were tipped meant they had to surrender an egg they had collected. And the cruelest twist? The destruction of the eggs. That's right. No giving them back. No giving them to someone else. Those eggs were predestined for destruction since before the beginning of the game. OK, not for solely vindictive reasons. And it's not because I don't like chocolate. I just don't trust kids. A couple of times, I had to get the eggs from the kids mouths because they didn't think I'd do it. Ah, the joys of stubbornness.
My only regret is having to wait another year to help these kids understand the concept of retribution. Oh, and the running. Muahahahaha...

Observation

2007-03-11T00:08:00.000+11:00

My parents met a Nursing student from China at church, and decided to invite her over for dinner. My mum - in all honesty - is not normally the type with the quick, sharp remarks. But while that may not be so impressive, what does impress me - as a perennial monolinguist - is her ability to speak perfectly pronounced English... as a fourth language.
Now during dinner, my mum was quizzing this Nursing student on the college she was studying at.
"So, are they teaching you nursing? Or Engrish?"

Did my mum really mispronounce that word? Or was my mum making a sly observation?

A Beautiful Day

2007-01-28T23:45:00.000+11:00

For the past 8 years, I've had the great honour of teaching the Bible to teens who rocked up to our church on Sundays at our church youth group (MYF). Last year, I made the tough decision to discontinue this work that I've been doing. It wasn't a decision that was made lightly, but one definitely made out of necessity.

A busy Christmas spent out of Sydney meant a quiet retreat into retirement, slipping out of MYF and into a much appreciated sleep-in.

But today was a little different - invited to our 9am Indonesian service, then our 11:30am English service and lunch, followed by a MYF "social" and then a dinner out with the new MYF leaders. Sounds like a nice simple day.

Here's a rundown of my highlights:

9am Indonesian Service

sitting through a 45 minute sermon in Indonesian... and not understanding a word

getting up the front at church to be thanked for my work in MYF in Indonesian, and having to have our pastor translate for me in front of the whole church

11:30am English Service

finding out (at 11:30am) I had to MC our (11:30am) English service because someone had misunderstood the message that another person was ready to MC, but for "something else"
going to lunch with the non-MYF-socialing people at our service

MYF Social

being "surprised" by the fact that the MYF social was actually a surprise farewell party from MYF
eating lots of food of great food (like sausages, bacon, and lemon meringue pie!)
being serenaded with a personalised song (it was actually quite good) from one of the other MYF leaders

MYF Leaders Dinner

eating some spicy Kwayteow Ayam at Ayam Goreng 99 in Kingsford
completely obliterating a Maxi Ice-Cream Sundae at French Riviera Ice-Cream with ease

It was a great day, spent with great people, and definitely a group of people I will miss seeing and working with every week. I'd just like to say Thanks to all who were involved in planning the day and joining in to make today so fantastic for me. As much as I enjoyed the appreciation that people showed, I think the best thing for me was to be able to look around, gaze upon the old and new faces, and see a group full of people whom God loved and who were taking the Bible seriously. There is truly nothing greater than being able to see people developing through the years into fantastically mature Christian people.

Darby Falls

2007-01-14T21:18:00.000+11:00

Last Wednesday was our mission team half-day off. As usual, we headed out of town, and drove through a little place called Darby Falls. Normally an uneventful drive, the highlight was seeing a few kids, standing outside a house, waving to us. A couple of girls leaning against the fence, while the boys were balancing themselves on the fence. Passing by at a leisurely and legal 50 kph, we had time to turn our heads, wave back, and watch as one of the guys on the fence began to frantically wave both arms in the air, before toppling to the ground. All the other kids didn't flinch, and kept waving. We laughed, as we drove by, with nothing but appreciation for Darby's Fall.

Richie's Holiday MLOG (with Literary Commentary)

2006-12-27T02:48:00.000+11:00

Welcome to Richie's holiday MLOG (CamLog).
I thought I'd start off this feature with a simple explanation of a mlog, considering it's a word I just made up.

Simply put, this is a photo-a-day summary of his time spent up in the much-maligned Northern Territory.
A little explanation of what I've been doing and the context in which these pictures will appear.

Each photo was taken on a Motorola V3x 2MP camera-phone, and is an attempt to summarise the day.
Hopefully you'll get a small sense of the context surrounding each of the photos displayed here in this mlog.

Enjoy.
Bon apetit.

Saturday 16th December, 2006

This picture was taken out the back of The Oasis - a hotel with a pool out the back which basically anyone can use, as long as they buy a drink. This was the scene of a farewell party for our family friends Grace & Skooda, who were moving from Alice Springs to Cairns. I feel that this picture (especially with the palm trees) captures the massive change of pace in lifestyles as I went from crazily busy to completely laid-back.

Sunday 17th December, 2006

Yet another long unbending stretch of single-laneway road. The end of it, disappearing into the distance. Most of the roads between towns are like this. After driving a couple of hundred kms towards to Curtin Springs (aided only by unrestricted speed limits), we quickly realised that there were other repeated themes on the roads not visible in this photo, namely dirt, wildlife and roadkill.

Monday 18th December, 2006

This was taken from the car as we drove away, almost an afterthought. We had spent 2.5 hours trekking across the top of the stunning rock formation Kings Canyon, while the sun was at it's highest and hottest. Given the fact that all the signage estimate 3.5 hours for the walk, it's needless to say we probably didn't take as many happy-snaps as other tourists.

Tuesday 19th December, 2006

Ah, Uluru. That great big rock in the middle of a great big desert centred in a great big mass of land surrounded by a couple of great big oceans. Most people don't realise, but that thing is big. Out of respect of local land owners (and because the of the shutdown due to forcasts for 36 degrees or above) we decided not to climb the rock (local lingo). So instead of concurring the rock, we settled for concurring the track which winds around the 9km perimeter of the rock.

Wednesday 20th December, 2006

After all that walking around in the middle of the desert, one can build up quite an appetite.
And nothing satisfies a hunger like a low-fat, high-protein and very tasty meal of kangaroo. And although this meat doesn't feature regularly in many people's diets, it can still be conveniently found (pre-marinated and packed might I add) at the Coles in Alice Springs.

Thursday 21st December, 2006

Answer: this photo.
Question: What do you get when you are home alone with no car, no friends, and only a pile of junk food and DVDs to keep you company?
That's right Jeopardy buffs, this pretty much (and quite proportionately) sums up the day while my sister was at work. Just the right amounts of chips packets, remote controls, and general mess.

Friday 22nd December, 2006

After threatening to do it all week, it finally rained. Well, stormed, thundered and lightninged more like it. Here we see the surrounds of my accomodation thirstily soaking up the precipitation. One of the greatest sights in such a dry country - though the more keen of eye may be wondering why grass looks suspiciously green considering how long it's been since the last rain.

Saturday 23rd December, 2006

Aside from all the last minute Christmas shopping, we continue our stringent maintenance tests on the TV, stereo and DVD player. Here you can see them during a rare moment of silence. After a fantastic wiring job, they now work together in unity to reproduce small fuzzy pictures with slightly muddy sound for Region 4 DVDs. Who would have thought that Palsonic, Panasonic and Pioneer products could work together to produce such a result.
(Thanks to the angled-back speakers, we had to them next to the TV instead of next to the stereo. Now instead of getting the sound muddied in the cabinet, we have a small green haze in the bottom left corner of the screen.)

Sunday 24th December, 2006

The sound of rain pounding on the roof at 6:30am in the morning alerted me to this sight. A total drenching causing the Todd River (traditionally a completely dry river-bed) to flow, and the temperature to drop significantly - to the point of having to turn off the AC... though we didn't do that, so I was just really cold.

Monday 25th December, 2006

Merry Christmas!
The view from Anzac Hill at sunset. From the highest point in Alice Springs, looking south over the rest of the town. While a camera-phone doesn't do it justice (big surprise there) the colours were absolutely stunning. Although the colours weren't captured, I feel that this shot does capture the fact that Alice isn't such a small place. While it's no comparison to any major coastal city, in relation to other country towns it is actually quite significant in size (although the map of the town still fits on an A4 page).

Tuesday 26th December, 2006

The end of an adventure.
Home sweet home.

Richie's Holiday MLOG

2006-12-27T02:02:00.000+11:00

Welcome to Richie's holiday MLOG (CamLog).
Simply put, this is a photo-a-day summary of the time spent up in the much-maligned Northern Territory.
Each photo was taken on a Motorola V3x 2MP camera-phone, and is an attempt to summarise the day.
Enjoy.

Saturday 16th December, 2006

Sunday 17th December, 2006

Monday 18th December, 2006

Tuesday 19th December, 2006

Wednesday 20th December, 2006

Thursday 21st December, 2006

Friday 22nd December, 2006

Saturday 23rd December, 2006

Sunday 24th December, 2006

Monday 25th December, 2006

Tuesday 26th December, 2006

Who Am I?

2006-10-16T10:36:00.000+10:00

So you may be asking "Richard, why have you been offline all week?". Well let me give you a quick rundown of what's been happening (what I've been to and some highlights).

Friday 7th:
Bible Study
- throwing down the Challenge (and discussing the methods) of evangelism, after considering God's love for people (Jonah 3-4)

Saturday 8th:
Wedding
- drove past a Buddhist Temple and Islamic Mosque to get to a Jehovah's Witness wedding
Visit Grandpa
- being amazed at his still-developed fine motor skills
Work
- got a park right in front of the building for $2.20/hour
Jazz & Jesus nite @ St Mark's, Malabar
- gigging with Alison & Gilly
- hearing a talk which was truly accessible to non-Christians

Sunday 9th:
Piano @ Liverpool Presbyterian
- meeting a guy who's as nerdy as Tim (and I'm not exaggerating!)
Music @ HIP Church
- playing funky bass for "By The Cross"

Sunday 9th - Friday 13th:
Study Camp
- playing lots of drums
- meeting some really encouraging year 12s
- exposing the Vegetales "Cheeseburger Song" for the evil, selfish and deceptive song that it is
- Study Camp had a shadow cast over it by one man and five syllables "De-rek Zoo-lan-der"
- playing a really good gig @ the semi-formal nite
- seeing the year 12s agree and dance to "Nutbush City Limits" for the last song of the semi-formal
- getting called a "soul monkey" even though no-one knows what that means
- NOT getting thrown into the pool

Friday 13th:
- watching Napolean Dynamite
- espousing the joys and benefits of audio commentaries

Saturday 14th:
Surprise!
- Happy Birthday Queenie!
Trivia
- We are the Champions, my friends!

Sunday 15th:
MYF on Piracy (the copyright kind of piracy)
- getting kids seriously asking about what is legal to do
EMS (English Multicultural Service)
- playing more drums!
- getting some fantastic historical/cultural background info on Daniel 1
Commissioning the Proudfoots @ Woonona Baps
- driving through fog
- seeing the Proudfoots one last time before they leave
- being challenged to think about evangelism

As you can see, it's been a busy week for me, with plenty of driving, late nights, and good friends.
Here's a quick summary of my week... in statistics:

drove 530.1 km (approx. using Whereis)
heard 12 talks
played music for 10 different services (incl. study camp stuff)
took 7 showers (it was a busy week!)
lead 6 Bible studies (well technically, only 2)
sustained 4 injuries
played 2 gigs

Goodbye Aussie's Rogue

2006-09-05T00:26:00.000+10:00

Steve Irwin - the Crocodile Hunter - died today. It was a bizarre feeling - something I don't think I've felt since I heard that Princess Diana died.
It took me a while to work out what I was feeling, but I think it was uncertainty. There are some things in life that although they aren't certain, they feel certain.
I felt certain that Diana was bound for a life in the media spotlight. For so many years she had been the focus of gossip mags, appearing in scandals, it felt like there would be no end to it.
Similarly, Steve Irwin seemed indestructible. Whenever he was on TV, defying death and injury so easily, his aura of invincibility grew. It became expected that no matter how big the animal, no matter how dangerous the situation, he would come out unscathed.
So it was no doubt a surprise to hear he had died. Not injured. Not seriously wounded. Not teetering on the brink of death. He was gone. And it shook me up.
My certainty, that Steve Irwin - a young, strong, experienced man - would continue to live and entertain, was shattered.

Nothing is certain.

What To Watch?

2006-08-24T14:36:00.000+10:00

As winter draws to a close, and I peruse the list of movies coming out at Greater Union, I realise that there are actually a few movies coming out that look half-decent and worth seeing. So as an extended birthday present to myself, I think I will make an effort to go see these movies, and grab as many people as I can to join me.

Here's my schedule (well, the release dates at least):
Now Showing
Footy Legends
2:37
Thank You For Smoking
September
14th - Nacho Libre
21st - Talladega Nights
October
12th - Little Miss Sunshine
19th - Boytown
November
2nd - Borat (Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan)

Ok, yes, some of those look a little stupid, but that's the sort of stuff I enjoy.
So, what do you guys want to see?

60 Days

2006-05-02T16:14:00.000+10:00

Ok, my mate is getting married at the end of June, and I'm one of his groomsmen. In an effort to make sure that I fit into my suit (and due to a lack of time to do the proper thing and actually exercise), I've decided (as of yesterday) that I'm gonna be good and not snack. No more chocolate, no more chips, no more custard. Technically, EasyWay is a beverage, and so I'll still be enjoying those.
But it will be a tough two months. 180 meals, ZERO snacks!
Oh well, one down, 59 to go.

One

2006-04-25T14:25:00.000+10:00

Freaky...

2006-04-08T23:26:00.000+10:00

Feeling tired of all that pre-programmed electronic "music" they're playing these days in 2006, I decided to head down to my local public library and pick up a CD of master bluesmen practicing their craft.
I get in my car and pop the CD into the CD player, and this is what I hear.

Good Combinations

2006-02-17T09:44:00.000+11:00

There are many things which go well together.
Bacon & eggs. Bacon & steak. Bacon & ham & pork.
As a result of various taxes I was unaware of, as well as a self-diagnosed ailment, I have found another great combination.

Dieting & Budgeting.

I have a sneaking suspicion that much of my expenditure is based in or around food. So really, for me at least, dieting and budgeting are synonymous. So for the rest of the year (hopefully) you'll be seeing a slimmer (and hungrier), less-tax-riddled me.

Alas poor Easyway, I knew thee well.

Psycho-Babble

2005-12-06T23:57:00.000+11:00

Why do I feel such a need to self-analyse myself? Why do I spend so much time thinking about my inner workings? Am I really that vain? Am I really that vapid? Do I honestly love myself that much that I have nothing better to think about?

I think that ultimately it all comes down to control. It's about having power.
So often you think and feel things and you don't understand why. The feelings, the emotions, none of which seem to make sense, are so strong and unexpected that they throw you off balance. Love, hurt, anger, apathy, embarrassment, pity, sorrow, joy, boredom, happiness, contentment. When there's no stability, everything is unexpected, and every change is stressful. It seems like no matter what happens, life just gets more complicated, more crazy, less and less like something you'd be able to cope with.
Yet somehow, each year, you manage to pull through, yet each time you feel like there's less and less of you left.

Surely if you could understand yourself, if you could know why you felt certain emotions, if you were aware of what guides your thought processes, then you would be able to determine what had previously been unpredictable. You would control that which controls you. Your life would be in your own hands.

Surely if not even you you can understand yourself, who else can?

Sleep In

2005-12-04T00:11:00.000+11:00

Well it's been a long time coming, but I finally got a sleep in!
Not just the opportunity to sleep in, but actually sleeping in... past 10am!

Ok, it's not that much of a sleep in, and I had to stay up until 2am, but it's better than usual.

Team Sports

2005-11-11T23:20:00.000+11:00

What's so good about team sports? The great thing about team sports is that even though you may not be good at something, you have other people with the same aims and goals as you, doing everything they can to achieve what you want to achieve.
But what happens when your team lets you down?

It's not a case of not having enough people with enough skills - there are enough of those.
It's not a case of being too busy to get involved - I make time when I see the need for it.
It's more a case of being part of the wrong team.

I have different goals. I have different ideas. I have different ways of doing things.
So what do you do?
Do you try to reform them? Or do you reform yourself?
Do you change your team? Or do you change teams?

It's a tough call but I think that ultimately you need to realise that your loyalty isn't to your team - it's to your sport. The goal of the sport is your goal. So find a team that can help you get there. It's not about how you get there, or who you get there with - just get there.

Patience & Perfectionism

2005-06-15T08:56:00.000+10:00

I think I'm a perfectionist. I like things being the way they should be. Words should be spelt correctly. All sentences should be double-spaced. Words should be chosen carefully, and for the most part, chosen for succinctness.
But I am also undeniably impatient. I demand instant perfection, and due to a combination of impatience and lack of skill, I am often frustrated.
Fortunately, over the years, I have come to the realisation that in order to resolve this great tension, I required a certain level of apathy. And in recent years, I have certainly acheived that.
While the occasional lapse does take place, I have found that my apathy has perfectly satiated my impatience.

Evil Words

2005-05-13T13:37:00.000+10:00

There are some words that I really don't like. They're not bad words in and of themselves, but I just know that I wouldn't like those words applied to me.

The first is a word that has haunted many a professional sportsman, especially Australia's own Mark Philippoussis. That word is potential. The word potential means that someone could be good at something. It means they aren't good at it now. The problem is when people (usually the person being talked about) think potential means that they are already good at something.

But my newly discovered distaste is for the word (and hopefully this word will never be applied to me) flavoured. I have eaten maple flavoured syrup, sun-dried tomato and basil flavoured rice cakes, and have been tempted to buy a McDonalds roll with mint & yoghurt flavoured sauce. This technical difference has been the bane of my sad and sorry existence. The difference between a genuine bargain on quality goods and a cheap substitute that plays on my poor attention to detail and apathy.

Oh well, whatever.

Faith & Works

2005-04-19T23:13:00.000+10:00

A man has heart surgery to live. He is left with a scar on his chest.
If he's had the life-saving surgery, then he cannot be scarless.
What is it that allows him to live? Is it the scar? No, it's the surgery.

Man is saved from hell, by faith in Jesus Christ. Faith results in good works.
If he's been saved, then he cannot live a sinful life.
What is it that saves him? Is it his good works? No, it's faith.

The Godfather

2005-04-15T12:46:00.000+10:00

My boss' twin god-daughters came in to the office today, and thoroughly enjoyed the whiteboard.
The one in red writes with her right.
The one in blue blites with her bleft.

Once, Twice, Three Times a Loser

2005-04-12T17:38:00.000+10:00

I lost 3 things on the weekend. I lost my appetite. I lost some weight (presumably the result of my appetite loss). And I lost somthing else too. I'm not sure how long I can last without it. The appetite-loss and weight-loss I can deal with. But this is not something I can afford to lose, especially now. Oh well, I'll give it a couple of weeks. If I don't have it back by then, I'm gonna be in real trouble.

Sniff Sniff

2005-04-10T23:31:00.000+10:00

Does anyone smell smoke?

Love-Hate Relationships

2005-04-05T23:53:00.000+10:00

How possible is it to live in a love-hate relationship? Having just been debriefed about a short-term mission to India, it struck me that some of the living conditions in India can be quite atrocious by our affluent western standards. And it made me think "how can you effectively evangelise people if you can't stand the place they live in?"
Can you say "I want to evangelise these people, but I won't because I couldn't possibly live in the same conditions as them"? Is it possible to love the people but be put off by the environment in which they dwell?
Can you love the people but so hate their situation that you don't minister to them? Is it then OK to pick your ministries according to where you feel comfortable? Can you justify not doing a ministry just because it doesn't suit you?

Wendy

2005-03-27T09:45:00.000+10:00

Well done, good and faithful servant.

How to Plan a Wedding

2005-03-11T08:49:00.000+11:00

Here's a helpful thought for anyone planning a wedding. Sit down with your parents, and the photo album of their wedding. Get them to take you through it. Just take notice of what they talk about.
How much time do they spend talking about the flowers?
How much time do they spend talking about the church they were in?
How much time do they spend talking about the wedding dress?
How much time do they spend talking about the people?

Now go, plan your wedding.

Boo!

2005-03-10T09:05:00.000+11:00

When I see a year 7 girl from my youth group at the train station in the morning, and she avoids me, that's understandable. But what if it's a guy who used to be in my Bible study group? Am I that scary?

What I learned from Hitch

2005-03-09T08:57:00.001+11:00

I need to buy a jetski.
It's ok to kick people in the head.
You can be really smooth and still be a loser.
You can be really klutzy and still be a loser.

Mmm... jetski...

Check the date

2005-02-28T08:25:00.000+11:00

It's 2 weeks after Valentine's Day, and someone on my MSN contacts list still has the display name "HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY". Is it time to tell them that the occasion has long passed?

Week END

2005-02-26T00:00:00.000+11:00

What's the perfect way to finish a long week at work? Well there could be many responses to that question. One response that wouldn't qualify would be something like this.

Get up at 6:30 on a Friday morning.
Catch a packed train with school kids who have no idea about common courtesy and hence conclude that while everyone else has to squash together to fit on the train, they shall maintain their seige of defiance - impenetrable, immovable.
Start work an hour early, leave work an hour early, so I can get to church on time for a meeting that starts late.
Meeting starts off OK, except for a feeling of tiredness. Everyone is speaking decent amounts of English, so I can still understand.
I can't help feeling that this meeting is going painfully slow. Is it just me, or are there fundamental misunderstandings going on here? One person explains their POV, someone else expresses theirs. And then they spend 20 minutes re-explaining their POVs until someone else explains what they both meant, and discover that they weren't disagreeing in the first place.
Meeting progresses, lack of dinner catching up, thoughts wandering.
Time for a dinner break. The shop behind the church is closed, so I do a KFC run. One register open, no change in the register, more waiting.
Food is consumed while the meeting continues. Talk slowly slips into Indonesian. Topics move out of my territory into matters for which I am not concerned. People talking aimlessly about things I don't care about. Things that I could sort out completely in 5 minutes. Frustration grows, feel a need to throw something.
Put my head down, close my eyes, wait for the finish.
Four and a half hours after we began, we adjourn.

What's the best way to finish a 45 hour week? Not a 4.5 hour meeting, that's for sure.

Valentine's Reflections

2005-02-14T09:21:00.000+11:00

I got this Valentine's Day card this morning from this girl at the station.
Although she had a Lipton Ice t-shirt on... and she seemed to be handing out a lot of cards rather indiscriminately... *sigh*

I don't think I've ever really bought into the whole Valentine's Day thing. Or any major annual holiday/celebration. For whatever the reason - be it loneliness, the blatant commercialisation of the event (and my inherent cheapness), or an avid distaste for the colour red - I just can't seem to get into the spirit. Or as is more likely, I'm just too busy to notice the date, let alone it's significance (unless of course, it involves a public holiday). And once you've missed one, you realise that the world keeps turning, no-one has noticed your absence, and your life isn't ruined by the fact that you missed a 24-hour period of common sentimentality with the rest of the world.

Herbless

2005-01-06T08:04:00.000+11:00

It's the day before mission, and I still need to confirm transport arrangements, finish writing a talk, and pack. And I have about 1 hour and 14 minutes at most between now and when I leave. Unless...
Suddenly the thought of taking the whole day off tomorrow sounds mighty appealing.

I hate running out of thyme.

Santa the Seasonal Anti-Christ

2004-12-24T01:17:00.000+11:00

Anti: a prefix that has now come to mean "against" (antisocial means someone who is against socialising).
Anti: a prefix that originally meant "in place of".
Anti-Christ: someone who comes "in place of Christ".

At Christmas time, there is one name on everyone's lips. Santa Claus. It's pretty certain that any parent, child or elf that you speak to in the month of December will have the image of the big bloke in a red suit in their mind, and his name on their lips.

It's a pity that people are concentrating so hard on Santa, because this usually means that they've totally missed the point of Christmas. Believe it or not, Christmas is about Jesus Christ. Fancy that.

So if every Christmas season, everyone is thinking about Santa Claus instead of Jesus Christ, we can quite safely and accurately say that "Santa is the Seasonal Anti-Christ".

Happy Birthdays

2004-12-14T14:32:00.000+11:00

During my time at home yesterday (thanks to my poor eating habits over the weekend) I chanced upon a segment of Bert Newton's program.

One of Bert's regulars (no, it wasn't Moira) was running viewers through their horoscopes. As I lay there listening to the predictions, the question inevitably crosses all of our thoughts ran through my mind. "What if this is true?"

Well, the only conclusion I could draw from that assertion is this: I have at least 5 birthdays a year. How else can anyone explain the fact that 5 of the descriptions suited me so well?

Let me leave you with an excerpt of wise words from Weird Al Yankovic's song "That's your Horoscope for Today":
"Now you may find it inconceivable or at the very least a bit unlikely
that the relative position of the planets and the stars could
have a special deep significance or meaning that exclusively applies to only you,
but let me give you my assurance that these forecasts and predictions
are all based on solid, scientific, documented evidence, so you would have
to be some kind of moron not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true."

Writer's Block

2004-12-10T23:24:00.000+11:00

Summertime

2004-12-01T08:27:00.000+11:00

"Summertime,
and the weather is easy.
Fish are jumpin'
and the cotton is high..."

Ah, the soulful strains of Gershwin. As summer rolls in for another year (though technically this is the second summer of 2004 seeing that it was still summer in January and February - hey, I can spell February!) we see not just scorching weather, but a plethora of other indications that this is indeed the holiday season.

The concept of daylight-saving is (in this humble worker's opinion) one of the best ideas to be conceived. Think about it. Displacing time to allow us to utilise the daylight in a more efficient manner? Pure genius! It means that when I get home from work, I have an extra hour of sunlight. And what a great benefit that will be for me - to toughen up my skin a little so that doesn't get burnt to a crisp while I'm out at Cowra.

When you combine the pre-Christmas anticipation with the actual Christmas celebrations, New Years parties and summer festivals (not to mention all the sales), that gives us a good couple of months of relaxation. I think that things like the Sydney Festival which runs in the city over January is a great idea - a combination of stuff and free stuff, that can be enjoyed in the warmth and extended sunlight of summer. Also on offer are a wide range of outdoor concerts and other activities, which make use of the probable dry weather.

Summer is also the traditional holidays for students. And if you are a worker like me, you'll know that this time is precious, because it means a lot more room for you on the public transport. And a lot more peace and quiet too.

All in all, I gotta say that I love summer, especially with all those things that go along with it. Maybe it's something that I can only get in Australia, or maybe just Sydney. I guess it's something to enjoy while we have it.

I'm a poet, and I didn't even realise that I was one

2004-11-26T14:28:00.000+11:00

Something I never thought in school,
was that poetry could ever be cool.
Endless words, verse by verse,
all of them verbose, none of them terse.

I hated Donne, Keats and Dawe,
Shakespeare too. My, what a bore.
The only time that I could smile
was hearing Seuss, written with such style.

I never really handled words
with the cool dexterity of those nerds
who sat around, and made bad bad puns,
and scathing comebacks like "ya mum"!

But I grew up, and learnt a thing
or two, that helped my understanding.
It made me appreciate the thought
and time put in by creative sorts.

I thought that I could do it too,
it can't be that hard to put two
lines together that also rhyme
while still getting my point across the line.

But it's much harder than you think,
keeping the rhythm at the cost of sync-
ronous thoughts and similar ideas,
just picking words that rhyme, like tortillas.

Poetry is pretty cool,
a highly expressive writing tool.
I really think I like it now,
others expressing what their minds allow.

It's not all good, there's poor poetry,
written by literary tragics like me.
Just accept the facts, verse after verse,
some poems are better, some poems are not as good.

Strange Encounters

2004-11-25T08:04:00.000+11:00

We went out for my mum's birthday last nite. We just went to a local restaurant in Hurstville, then decided to get some dessert. Being the cheap Asians that we are, we ended up at our local Coles, picking up a few groceries along the way. Anyway, my dad was in charge of the trolley, while the rest of us started puttering around the fresh food section. We naturally convened, I think we were in the vegie department, when I looked around. Mum, sister, dad, no trolley.
"Dad, where's the trolley?"
He looks at me blankly, blinks once or twice, then turns around, looking for the trolley. There are a couple of them strewn around the place, each with a few items sitting in them. My dad takes a step towards them, to seek the empty trolley that he had abandoned only a minute before.

There was a man - probably in his 50's, with a crew cut, polo shirt, shorts and sandals - who was standing around. He must have overheard us, because when he saw us glance in the direction of his trolley, he stepped up, pointed at the trolley, pointed at himself and then uttered a single menacing word. "Mine".
My brain was suddenly overloaded with potential comebacks and pithy lines (well not really - it was overcome with the fact that a good response would have been really funny) as the man proceeded to push his trolley away to the next aisle. I think my dad was equally as stunned by this little incident, but as we looked around we realised why he had responded so strongly.
"I think that guy stole our trolley!"

To this day (ok, it's less than 12 hours later) I still can't work it out. Who enters a grocery store, ignores the plethora of trolleys sitting just outside the entrance and then steals an empty trolley - and when the potential of being found out arises, proceeds to engage in intimidation tactics?

Help Needed

2004-11-23T10:26:00.000+11:00

Oh no! Let's get out there and support a struggling business!
http://www.smh.com.au/news/Business/Krispy-Kreme-posts-loss-stock-down-17-per-cent/2004/11/23/1100972359053.html

Busy as a Bee

2004-11-22T01:19:00.000+11:00

I'm just starting to realise how busy I'm gonna be in the next week or two. I'm not really looking forward to it, but in a funny way, I am.
I don't even want to begin to think about next year - although ironically that's what some of these meetings I have is about.
Yes, I'm bored. Yes, I have nothing better to be blogging about. Yes, I'm going to bed now.

Big Trouble in Little Chinese Eyes

2004-11-18T11:31:00.000+11:00

May be it won't be so bad if I can't read articles like this - after all, ignorance in bliss.
http://www.smh.com.au/news/Breaking/Heavy-computer-use-linked-to-glaucoma/2004/11/17/1100574499404.html

While I Was Sleeping

2004-11-17T23:41:00.000+11:00

The weirdest thing happened to me today on the way home.

Town Hall: I get on the train as usual, casually observing the people in the carriage.
Central: people get off, and I assume my typical position at this time of the day - leaning against the carriage door, thankful for the support it gives my back.
Redfern: not too many people getting on, maybe 2 of them. I close my eyes and tilt my head back so that it too leans against the door. As we pull out of the tunnel, my eyes flicker open to catch a glimpse of the sunlight. Ah sunlight, it's been so long. While I'm staring out the door opposite me, I notice a girl sitting a little to the right of my gaze. She's sitting there, looking at me, with half a smile on her face. I turn to look at her, at which point she reveals an impish grin. I begin to lose confidence in my assertion that I don't know her, so I politely smile back, close my eyes, and then lean my head back once again against the door.
Sydenham: I have to stop leaning against the door for fear of falling out when the doors open. But we are soon on our way again, with me once again greedily taking as much sleep as I can get. My eyes open once again to see how far the next station is. "Are you ok?" I turn to see the girl still looking at me, still smiling, but with a look of concern in her eyes. Too lazy to speak, desparately not wanting to waste any energy that I have so carefully gathered, I manage to give her a quick smile and a nod. She smiles as well (actually, I don't think she ever stopped) and nods understandingly. "Oh, you're sleeping". I continue to smile and nod, as my eyelids return to their familiar position.
Wolli Creek: People alight from the train, and I notice empty seats on the other side of the screen. No-one else is interested, so I decide to take all of the 3 steps between my current position and the closest seat. I sit and resume my self-prescribed course of public snoozing.
Rockdale: I'm sitting directly across from her, her gaze unwavering, her smile perpetual. She sees me open my eyes, and begins to talk. "So, are you Korean?" I promptly proceed to introduce myself as an Australian, and explain to her the intricacies of my background (dad's from HK, mum's from Indo, I'm from here) while she explained her knowledge of Asian languages (it was quite impressive, especially since she claims to have learnt it off the internet). My guess is that she wanted to try out her language skills for her upcoming tour of Asia, and I didn't fail to disappoint.
Kogarah: We kept on chatting. I found out that she was born in Sydney, then moved down to Victoria before coming back here. We paid out the AFL.
Hurstville: This is my stop. I got up to leave, waited patiently during that awkward silence between when I got up and when the train actually stopped. Again, my polite smile. "Well, have a nice... life" she said. Curses. My departing remark was "It was nice to meet you". Unfortunately my premeditated message was already half-way out of my lips before I could register what she said, and generate an equally appropriate response. Oh well, like I'll ever see her again. I step off the train, and proceed up the stairs. How bizarre, how surreal.

Well, even now, I still don't know what to make of this encounter. I'm still a little freaked out. Oh well, I'm sure there's a sermon illustration in there somewhere.

Sleep Mortgage

2004-11-14T21:46:00.000+11:00

It's been shown that an increasing number of Australians have been accumulating what researchers are calling sleep debt. In a world where time is money, people have cashed in, and are sleeping less than they used to, and less than what would be considered healthy.

From the last 36 hours, I think it would be safe to say that I do not have sleep debt - I have a sleep mortgage. For a time period where I have spent 4 times as much time driving than sleeping (8 hours of driving, 2 hours of sleep) I am suffering suprisingly little side-effects. Unlike previous occasions where I have been assulted by a vast array of symptoms from a deprivation of sleep, I am currently feeling none of those related feelings. I don't have a headache, my mind is as clear and sharp as you would expect on a well-rested day, and my body isn't overwhelmed with a desire to just collapse.
The only explanation I could think of is this. At most banks, if you have a relationship - be it debit or credit - with them worth more than a certain amount ($20,000 is the figure quoted by a large Aurtalian bank) then you are exempt from all account keeping fees. Well it appears that I have finally reached that point. All those naggling little fees like tiredness, poor concentration and blurred vision no longer apply to me, so great is my relationship with the Sleep Bank.
And the great thing is that you get to pay them back in little installments. Just today I made 2 micro-sleep repayments. My favourite quote from this weekend: "Ah, the microsleep. It's like thge ultimate power nap".

Wow Again

2004-11-12T14:20:00.000+11:00

ok, this one requires reading, but still... wow.
http://www.smh.com.au/news/News/Electric-shock-its-faster-than-a-Porsche-911/2004/11/11/1100131165414.html

Like Wow

2004-11-10T15:19:00.001+11:00

*picks up jaw*
Beats my Camry hands down
http://media.smh.com.au/?rid=15055&sy=smh&source=smh.com.au%2F&t=2I5BT0&ie=1&player=wm7&rate=376&flash=1

The Greed Garden

2004-11-02T09:51:00.000+11:00

Well it's Melbourne Cup day today. People are happy. Clothes are bright. And hats are being passed around. Not the hats with big feathers stuck into them - I'm talking about the sweeps. Offices across the nation (except in stupid Victoria, where they get a public holiday) are passing around the hat, putting in their money, and pulling out a ticket with the name of their horse.
As a known conservative, there is no question in my mind. It is not OK to gamble. But I guess the question that's been popping up in my mind is: is this really gambling?
If the bad characteristic of gambling is greed, does that mean you can gamble as long as you're not greedy? Can it be justified as "getting involved in an activity with colleagues"? Surely as long as you're not doing it with the expectation of winning money, then it's OK. And if you don't, it will alienate you from the other people in your office. Is it really worth it?
But then greed isn't necessarily something that lives fully-grown in people. Isn't it like all sins, something that exists in our hearts, but only proceeds to take root as we begin to feed it?

Watching a race isn't bad, nor is supporting one of the racers. Putting money into something for no return is bad business, but possibly a good social activity. After all, there can only be one winner, and if it's not you, then you can bond with the others who didn't win. But it's fertilising an ever-present seed. It's watering the garden bed of greed. I don't think I know enough about gardening to extend this analogy any further. But you get the idea - the results may not be evident straight away, but the roots are working their way in to establish a firm grip. It may be slow, it may be subtle, but it is happening. No matter how thin that layer of mulch, it's still contributing to the growth of something - no matter how well you dress it up - totally and utterly selfish.

Hot Stuff

2004-10-27T18:35:00.000+10:00

There are some questions in life that people would do well to answer. Well the question that I'm setting out to answer today is "can sushi be eaten hot?"
Well, I'm about to find out - I'll get back to you with the results shortly.

Well the results are in, and here's how Hot Sushi has fared...
NO
Sushi just isn't designed for the microwave - things tend to fall apart when heat is applied.
Oh yeah, and sushi is not designed for spinach.

On yer bike

2004-10-26T10:18:00.000+10:00

If you believe what you read in the paper, then you'll know that environmentally speaking, our world is in pretty bad shape. And it seems that there's nothing to slow us down on this path. Everyone seems to be looking for that one big solution - the answer that will solve our problem and allow us to keep living our selfish thoughtless self-gratifying lives.

Here's my stone to solve 2 great epidemics plaguing modern-day Australian (and more generally, Western) society. We seem to have an 2 energy crises in our country. Firstly we are going through non-renewable energy sources at an alarming rate, that most likely will not be sustained. Secondly, we are a growing nation - not just in population, but also in girth. All this "stored energy" (fat) which is beginning to envelope more and more individuals, including many children, is becoming a health risk for many in our community.
My suggestion? Put everyone on exercise bikes that are hooked up to generators. This way we will not be using the precious stores of fossil fuels that are rapidly being depleted, but rather using the abundance of energy carried around by large minority of the population. It means that energy production will not have harmful byproducts like carbon dioxide or the toxic carbon monoxide, but rather harmless (if not more pungent) byproducts like body odour. It also means that these individuals would be getting much needed exercise and alleviating them from a plethora of medical conditions, easing the burden on the medical system.

While we're at it, let's make good use of the methane being generated by our landfills. Surely if we could harness the gas as our waste material breaks down, we could once again capitalise on the wasted energy potentially at our disposal. And methane would be a much better alternative from a chemical point of view. Because it has a carbon chain of 1, methane is the most efficient burning fuel, ensuring a more complete combustion which means byproducts consisting almost entirely of carbon dioxide and water.

Stairway to injury

2004-10-25T09:12:00.000+10:00

Well it appears that my gross unco-ordination and clutziness is manifesting itself once again. After the near full-recovery of my fingers from last weekend (despite lotsa guitaring this weekend) I've managed to turn my right big-toe a deep purple colour. I like to mention that I was helping my sister move and that I blackened my toe all in the same sentence, but unfortunately those two incidents are unrelated. My toe is the result of an unsuccessful attempt to run up the stairs. Accursed stairs!

Fatigued Fingers

2004-10-18T15:54:00.000+10:00

My fingers have been copping a lot of abuse this weekend.

I spent about 5 hours on Saturday playing guitar and/or bass, which included a mad bass riff that required a fair bit of slapping and popping. It was awesome to play again, but the price was various fingers on both hands have worn thin in various areas, the net result being an unhappy Richie.

On Sunday I went bowling, and despite bowling an unassisted 110 (ie. no bumper bowling) I walked away with a thumb that felt sorer than I'd like.

In the evening, I was on keyboard for church and playing it like an American singer-songwriter who relocated to Melbourne. I've always liked having a guitarist playing, especially in the absence of a decent keyboardist, but that nite I think we managed to pull it off. Unfortunately, in the process I made it a lot easier to pull off part of my finger-nail. My inspiration spurred by Ben Folds means that I have the nasty habit of slamming my fingers straight into the keys - and physics dictates that something's gotta give, which in most cases, is my finger nail. It's at that uncomfortable stage where the bit which has snapped off is still holding on to a bit of flesh - so it's loose enough to move every time you tap your finger (and you can feel it pull everytime it moves) but still clinging on stubbornly so that it will take a half-decent tug to separate it from the rest of me.

With old battered hands like this, how am I meant to do my job? Well, I think this entry proves that although typing is a little awkward, it's still possible.
I need to start playing a low-impact instrument.

Not the Japanese Parliament

2004-10-12T13:54:00.000+10:00

As of the beginning of thsi month (or there's abouts) I've been on a self-imposed diet (I wanna be fit enough to keep up with the kids at Cowra in January). Now I've never really been one to eat really heathily, but I think what really gets me is ths snacking (ok, the lack of exercise has it's place too).

So for my self-imposed diet, I've restricted myself to three meals a day. No snacks, no morning or afternoon tea, no supper. This is the only rule. You can eat whatever, as long as it is part of a meal.
For example, I got to the end of dinner one night, and I was still hungry, so I found a bag of corn chips. Normally I'd sit on the couch and eat them with salsa in front of the TV. But that night, it became part of my meal. So I ate it at the table. Or if you feel like eating ice-cream, go to the freezer, get it out and eat your dessert.
As long as what you are eating is part of a meal, then it's OK to eat.

As to how effective this will be? Well, I guess time will tell.

Not Happy, Jan

2004-10-12T10:20:00.000+10:00

I just noticed this morning that someone backed into my car - probably a 4WD because the bonnet's been crumpled but the rest of the car is unscathed. And as tempting as it is to whinge and complain and have a good cry, I realise that I'm being a bit of an idiot. I mean, how many people have a car? How many people know how to drive a car? How many people can afford to get their car fixed?

While I might initially think "lots of people", it dawns on me that there are "lots more people" who aren't in that situation. I have it good. I have it very good. And this has been a timely reminder and warning - the more you have, the more you have to lose.
I guess that's something to remember for this life, especially with regards to the next.

World Egg Day

2004-10-08T09:37:00.000+10:00

8th October, 2004
World Egg Day

Man, I feel like a...

2004-10-06T16:01:00.000+10:00

A friend of mine was commenting on my DVD collection yesterday. He keenly spotted that I owned the Red Curtain trilogy (for those of you who aren't aware of what this is, it's Baz Luhrmann's three directorial triumphs: Strictly Ballroom, Romeo + Juliet, and Moulin Rouge).
A look of confusion and horror* covered my friend's face as he discovered that my collection extended to such cinematic masterpieces as The Sound of Music and Singing in the Rain. (I thought it prudent to not mention the My Fair Lady and West Side Story soundtracks in my CD collection - both of which were gifts).

Words were exchanged, questions were raised, and pride would have been hurt*, if it weren't for the fact that neither of us really cared about what we were talking about.
But the question has been put out there - are movies involving singing and/or dancing an indication of a lack of masculinity?

Can I dismiss my friend's words as the rantings of a misguided and sheltered man? Or can I justify my appreciation of the arts?
Now, in my time of desparation I ask you: guys, help me rebuild my shattered self-image and reaffirm my masculinity.

* some dramatic licence may have been taken in the recounting of these events

The Journey

2004-10-04T01:39:00.000+10:00

When faced with a 7 hour break between church services, what does one normally do? Hang around after the first church service to talk to people. Fix a friend's computer just before the second service. And go for a 4.5 hour drive. OK, it was more like 4 hours if you take into account a couple of macca's breaks.
The hardest part has to be deciding where to go. For me, the decision was between seeing how far down the M5 I could get, and heading out to Blackheath to purchase some of the exquisite apple juice sold from Logan Brae Apple Orchard.
Despite my desire to explore the mysteries held by mysterious M5, and with the prospect of delicious apple juice, I decided on Blackheath, only to be greeted with a locked gate and a sign informing me that I had missed the 1-hour window of opportunity (11am-12pm) to make purchases that day. Seeing that I had left home at 12:30, I was quick to resent the lack of information about the orchard on the internet.

Yet despite all this, I still came back feeling more refreshed than I have in a long time, as I managed to achieve what I had set out to do. Enjoy time alone. Enjoying my time. Cruising down the highway with the wind rushing through my hair and sun shining on my face, the music disturbed only by the revving of my engine and the soulful strains of my own voice.
Despite the apparent fruitlessness of my journey, I realised that sometimes the advertising campaigns of airlines get it right - it's not where you're going, it's how you get there. It's the journey. This isn't true for all things, but it certainly was in this case.
I think I'll have to visit that orchard again.

Whining and Dining

2004-09-23T15:04:00.000+10:00

Welcome to my first solo venture out into the world of blogs. For those of you who know me, you're probably thinking that it's a little odd that I'm jumping onto the band-wagon so early on. I'm the type of guy who usually waits a couple of years for a fad to die before discovering it. Well, as well as sounding the death-knell for blogs, this creation is the result of a generally good opinion of blogs, a preference to write as a form of stress relief, and the fact that blogs are not gonna get cheaper the longer I wait.

If you want to get an idea of what will be going on here, I cannot tell you for certain, but the plan is to allow me to whine (and generally feel sorry for myself) and for you to dine (on my potentially thought-provoking posts). Unfortunately, the only thought I have at the moment is that I should be doing some work now.

Hopefully I'll be able to keep this thing updated regularly, and free from grammatical and spelling errors.