Psycho-Babble

Why do I feel such a need to self-analyse myself? Why do I spend so much time thinking about my inner workings? Am I really that vain? Am I really that vapid? Do I honestly love myself that much that I have nothing better to think about?

I think that ultimately it all comes down to control. It's about having power.
So often you think and feel things and you don't understand why. The feelings, the emotions, none of which seem to make sense, are so strong and unexpected that they throw you off balance. Love, hurt, anger, apathy, embarrassment, pity, sorrow, joy, boredom, happiness, contentment. When there's no stability, everything is unexpected, and every change is stressful. It seems like no matter what happens, life just gets more complicated, more crazy, less and less like something you'd be able to cope with.
Yet somehow, each year, you manage to pull through, yet each time you feel like there's less and less of you left.

Surely if you could understand yourself, if you could know why you felt certain emotions, if you were aware of what guides your thought processes, then you would be able to determine what had previously been unpredictable. You would control that which controls you. Your life would be in your own hands.

Surely if not even you you can understand yourself, who else can?